Are you insecure or just unsafe in your relationships?

Dec 10, 2021Healing, Relationships

flowers, hands, peace
Healing doesn't happen over night. And that is the beauty of healing, it is not to be rushed, it is not meant to have an end goal, it is meant to be a beautiful journey of discovery and realisation.

To my heart to yours sister,

How many times have you been called or thought to be an “insecure person” because you feel something that doesn’t align with your loving heart (which always knows your truth) which creates a sense of tension or even a coping mechanism- flight, fight, freeze sensation in your body?

beauty, inner beauty, self love, flowers

Perhaps you feel like you to have tip toe around a person as you know they will be upset, or defensive or even patronise your every action and thought. This is not a healthy feeling but you have the power to make a shift and know what you are deserving of. You have the power to shift your frequency so that you can attract and manifest others who are in the same loving frequency as you.

What if you weren’t an insecure person, instead you were just not feeling safe in the relationship dynamic. I love relationships as they are always there to teach us something until that thing that has been suppressed or repressed is addressed and brought to our conciousness.

This feeling of unsafety usually manifests in the body. As an educator in the past, I witnessed and dealt with many children (and adults) deal with feelings of unsafety in their every day life. They were feeling unsafe due to their enviornment at home, family situation etc.

Feeling unsafe stems from childhood

sad girl, sad child

Yes it stems from childhood. And there’s no difference when it comes to adults. Unless they are addressed early in life. You may see children scream or project or on the other hand, retreat or runaway and this coping mechanism is usually the body’s reaction to feeling unsafe. These could also be recognised as the fight, flight, freeze responses which are the body’s way of signaling danger or unsafety.

That’s the thing, your beautiful body which is your vessel for life and spirit, loves you so much that it wants to protect you. That’s how much it loves you. This way of being in the body, that feeling of unsafety, can also apply in our relationships, whether it is family, intimate, friendships or business. And I know, I have been there.

That feeling of being unsafe, It is that sensation where you are constantly feeling on edge. Your body may tense up or you just don’t feel right in your heart centre. Where you know that something is not lining up, or in other words something is not aligning with your soul. And if you’re an intuitive empath like me, you know exactly what I mean.

From “insecure” To feeling safe

insecure, unsafe, fear

I remember in one of my past realtionships, I would offer my heart and open it so widely, that I was not conscious of how the other person on the other side, was able to appreciate or hold this. The thing is, they were not capable of that. Instead they would react and run away once they fel themselves becoming vulnerable and “soft”, so they were feeling scared wihtin themselves to receive that much love that I had to offer. Furthermore, I was then feeling unsafe, because my heart was not being received the way I was able to give.

Therefore, I began to be labelled as “insecure.” My ego seemed to love this word. And because I was not aligned within myself at the time, or really knew what my truth really was, I seemed to believe this story. My story became that, I love “too much” (that word again) or that I was insecure. But it took alot of courage and deovtion to myself to realise that I was not any of these. And that infact the love that I had was my strength. And that the safety was always within me. I was always able to provide safety for myself therefore, was worthy of receiving it back from a loved one.

And from that moment (and my own journey of inner work), I was able to take another path, a slow and steady one I might add, to aligning and attracting the relaitonships that I truely deserve. And believe me I am still working on this, because healing is an ever long lasting journey. But what I do have now, is a flourishing and loving relationship, where I feel safe every second of the day. And to me that is a beautiful sign, that the Universe is on my side and that I am showing up for myself every single day.

The beauty of healing

present moment, sunset, healing, mindfulness

So perhaps you are not insecure, instead, perhaps you are just unsafe in the dynamic of the relationship. It takes alot of courage, strength and self compassion to make a shift. But it doesn’t mean you have to have the answers or make a decision with it right away. There are no strategies for this.

Healing doesn’t happen over night. And that is the beauty of healing, it is not to be rushed, it is not meant to have an end goal, it is meant to be a beautiful journey of discovery and realisation. When you allow yourself to rest in the body, and in the precious present moment you have been given, this is where healing occurs. And where you start to open up to the true feeling of what you are deserving of- your heart, body and mind.

Connecting with your heart and womb centre

The place that always knows what to do, is the place in your heart and womb centre. It is when you connect to these two divine feminine, power centres, you realise more and more your worth, the decisions that need to be made from an aligned place and how to speak your truth and more so.. what you are willing to accept and surround yourself with.

This is the beauty of healing, the unraveling of your heart and truth and what feels safe and flourishing for you. But like I said, it takes courage, softness, love for yourself and conscousness. Besides, isn’t it so much more nourishing for your soul, to be feeling safe, apprecaited and loved every second. I think so.

So if you are feeling tense or rigid in your body and may feel insecure- I want you to take a step back, breathe, reflect and ask yourself- “Am I insecure or do I feel safe/unsafe in this situation right now?” “And what am I deserving of feeling right now?”

And this is what I pride myself in now-holding a safe space for women to explore their truth with no judgement.

Lots of love.


Hello my love,

My name is Jessica and I devote my life to bringing beauty and love to this world. 

I invite all women to live freely and the closest to their soul through embracing the power of their heart, womb and sensuality in unity with spirituality.  As I believe these are all one.

With my samba dancing background, work around womb and yoni healing and a life dedicated to my spiritual path, I am now here to bring this way of life to all women. To guide you into a life of empowerment, flow and bliss.

As I believe self worth, love and sensuality is every woman’s birthright.

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