Hello lovely one.
Are you ready to discover what the 3 successful steps are into releasing old habits, patterns and addictions that may be holding you back from living a blissful and abundant life?
Old habits, negative patterns and addictions. We all have either had them or are still attached to them. When talking about old habits, negative patterns, and addictions, they can take form in different shapes- over eating, avoiding true emotions, Netflix binge watching, alcohol addictions, fear, worry, control, drugs etc. But what is the same with all of them, is the root of it.
I am here to discuss the method into releasing the old habits, negative patterns and addictions. You know what…You have already achieved the first step and that is, reading this article. So pat on the back to you.
When talking about habits and addictions they usually derive from and developed from something that you feel you need to run away from. Something that you need protecting from and they usually derive from childhood.
Breaking an old habit, negative thinking patterns or addiction can be difficult as it can make us feel uncomfortable and even out of control. It usually makes us feel vulnerable, like we are going to expose the real truth and underlying issues we may want to be avoiding. The ego loves to feed off suffering.
Being attached or addicted to something, is usually there as a way to feel safe. The root cause of this wound usually comes from childhood. The wounded child.
The Wounded Child
Perhaps this woundedness derived from the feeling of not being heard when you were younger; not feeling safe emotionally or physically; the feeling that you might have been disregarded or disowned etc. It is any experience that has caused a dissonance within you and makes you feel uncentred.
This has caused an energetic disturbance that you have carried all the way into your adult life. It can even manifest in physical forms in the body such as tension in the stomach or jaw, imbalance of the menstrual cycle which I will go into in another post, fuzziness etc.
Then in our everyday life, without being conscious about it, we try to cover it up (like the bandaid) through our addiction or habits.And sometimes it can be so subtle and so habitual we don’t even know we are doing it.
I am not bringing this up so you feel guilty, instead I ask you to look at it with a different set of eyes, an understanding and compassion for yourself. These are our mechanisms for feeling safe in the body. Whether it is from the feeling of needing control, the need to know the outcomes in life, the fear of change we may turn to comfort or distractions. Like a security blanket when you are a child.
These mechanisms can even project into love relationships in the way that you approach or don’t approach certain topics with your loved one. For example, you may find yourself running away from their problems/or yours, ignoring them, being overly clingy, etc .
We may even go about our lives, over analyzing every detail in our mind, either becoming the victim or feeding into more of what it loves, and that is to continue creating the limiting and toxic belief that you are not good enough, that you need these addictions, no one can help you etc. This is of course not true.
I want you to know that you don’t need to be fixed. These old habits, negative patterns and addictions don’t define you or indicate that you are broken. No.. they are just little signs calling for your attention, your loving awareness. That’s all.
Healing always begins with your loving awareness.
We need to bring these old ways of being into our consciousness to then shift the habitual patterns. Instead of using these patterns and addictions to numb the fear, the old wounds, the pain, it is time to do something different.. which can be scary also.. doing something different. I understand but it is time to start confronting the energetic disturbance of what is really there. And the underlying truth of what we are trying to dismiss or hide.
So enough with the why.. You are probably wondering but how.. That sounds all easy and well Jessica, but how can I make this change. It is hard. It is impossible. It is who I am.
No love… All of these are just stories. They are not who you are. And if they are not making you feel uplifted, full of joy and wholesome then… you know what.. no this is not who you are. And they are definitely not aspects of your intuition. This is not serving the divine being you are. You are deserving of feeling alive, centred and more aligned to pure bliss.
Well first of all, you already did take the first step as you are reading this. so well done!
Step one- Knowing you are Divine is the first step into releasing old habits and negative patterns
When you know you are divine, or a being of love, then you know you are lovable. You already are Love. You already are enough and beautiful. You are imperfectly perfect. Knowing this in yourself is the first step to any type of healing.
And knowing you are already whole and divine just as you are will offer you the space to love every single part of you, yes even these addictions and patterns. Your divine, whole, beautiful self wants to love it. She wants to wrap her arms around it and hug it so tightly with so much unconditional love and understanding. This part of you was always there to protect you. This was all you knew at the time and possibly your whole life (up until now). That control, fear, worry or addiction was your protection for whatever you were feeling wounded about. It was your safety net, whether you want to admit that or not.
You just weren’t ready and weren’t given the tools to face the wounded parts of you yet. But you are now because you are reading this.
So lovely sister, you know the part of you that has this addiction,the fear, the over controlling behaviour, the Netflix binging or whatever it is, I want you to look at this part of you and thank her. Thank her for protecting your spirit. She did her job at the time but you are ready now to take on a new way of being. This is the second step- to love the addictive part of you.
Step two- Your Loving awareness is key to relasing old habits and negative patterns
So I ask you now to smile at her and say, “Hello! You were so wonderful all this time, thankyou.”
Be grateful and love this addictive part of you that you are now ready to let go of. Because this is not you.
This part of you was helping you cover this old wound. The addiction was like your soft, cuddly security blanket. This part of you was helping you deal with the suffering, the feeling of hurt, emotional wounding, the trigger (no matter how big or small), the feelings of not being good enough.
Now dear one, I ask you to thank yourself for this. Be grateful that this attachment or old habit was there in the first place.
This trigger you had was there, so the part of you that required protecting was the part of you that instinctively had to over eat, drink, self sabotage, over control. It was an old wound that needed love and protecting, a safety net. But your divine, loving whole self (the real you) is there and she wants you to say thankyou.
Guess what.. you just achieved the second step! You are ready to let go of the old stories and old habits.
The first was offering this part of you space and knowing you always have been divine. Then it was becoming aware and offering her love and gratitude.
How brave you are! Well done.
step three- taking Action
You are being so courageous to want to confront these old habits, negative patterns or addictions, which are stories that have been playing out to keep you safe. But now you know that there is another way, and it doesn’t involve feeling these tensions, anxieties and fears anymore. But believe me, it is hard. I know. But this is where I say it is important to work through the resistance.
Each time you find yourself thinking you can’t, remind yourself that that this not you and you always were divinely guided and capable. So of course you can.
It is now time for you to become aware of it in the action, in the present moment. Whether you are grabbing that food unconsciously, drinking excessive alcohol, feeding off your worry or needing to control a situation etc, it just takes a minor second to bring it to your awareness.
It takes a second to shift your attention and ask yourself…
“Hang on, why did I just worry like that? Why am I eating when I am not hungry? Why did I walk away from the person I love when they are feeling vulnerable? Why do I think the worst case scenario?”
“Am I doing this because I am protecting myself or to feel safe right now? Does that wounded part of me need their security blanket? I am doing this because this is what I am comfortable or familiar with?”
It is not the person in front of you that did this to you, or made you feel like that nor it is not that little voice in your mind either.
Offer yourself space (in that split second) to feel what is happening. Notice what your body is doing, how it is reacting. And it is in that space where you take a moment to breathe deep from within. A deep breath from your lower abdomen and then let out a loud exhale. Don’t hold back with your breath. Really visualise the breath in your womb space/pelvic floor and watch the breath rise up to your heart, which is always there holding you. And exhale letting everything go.
Breathe again and really feel.
Everytime you can do this, you are providing more space for a new language of love to melt into your heart and body. You are creating a new dialogue with your brain and body that you are safe.
Now it is time to celebrate taking action to break an old habit, an old cycle or old addiction.
You are ready to slowly begin your new story and your new way of being because you know you have nothing to run from or patch up. Before you know it, with each step to creating space and gratitude for this part of you, the security blanket will slip away and you wont know where it is anymore.
And now that you have started this process, there is no turning back. You never go backward in healing.
Now remember, baby steps. Give yourself time, patience, love, gentleness. No one is asking you to perform miracles and neither should you. And always remember, healing always occurs in the discomfort. So if you are feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable, I applaud you.