Are you ready for a conscious relationship? Or are you still getting stuck in the same patterns that keep you unhappy?
In this blog I dive deep into what a healthy relationship look like and discuss how a conscious relationship can really be your biggest mirror for evolution.
Something we need to know is that relationships are not sunshine and roses. They are not a huge roller coaster ride of ups and down either. This is a story or an image that we have been sold and that actually keeps us stuck.
When we speak about a sacred union, conscious relationship or an intimate relationship, It is not just based on fun and happiness. Of course these are important elements and this is the state we are always wanting to be in because it feels good but this is the state we want to be in regardless of a relationship or not.
Relationships do not bring you happiness.
Happiness is always within you.
Intimate relationships, bring you growth. Relationships are your mirror as they reflect back who and where you are in your life. Therefore, they bring you honesty of who you are, where you are in your deepest layers and honesty in how you deal with situations.
So, are you ready to look in the mirror?
The relationship is your mirror
When I met Carlos I saw something deeper. It is as though I saw his true essence, that little child who wanted to love and be loved. That’s the person I saw. Perhaps he was my mirror. I had already found my own true essence, the divine within myself. Therefore, I saw it in him.
So my attraction to him was not based on the surface level. As a deep, intimate relationship is everything but surface level. It is the expression of God, love and light.
When I saw Carlos, I saw his empathy, I saw the way he treated me, the way he listened, the way he held space for me through difficult times, the way he didn’t judge me for feeling emotions. This is the relationship that I believe all women are deserving of. But I also believe that you cannot see this in the other person or allow them to offer these wonderful qualities if you cannot see them in yourself. Otherwise we are just filling a hole, we are repeating a cycle that requires our attention in order to heal, or it requires extra love because this is where we may be hurting.
Carlos never disregarded my feelings, he did not belittle my needs, he held and took them. He became my lead, my mountains where my rivers would fall ever so freely.
So next time you’re in a relationship I hope you know that it is so much more than just love and light. But… love is always the glue to your manifestations. In this, it is the glue to manifesting a deep, sacred union.
You can also watch the video here on this topic: What a healthy relationships looks like
What makes up an intimate relationship?
Love is everything- it is knowing how to communicate openly in an intimate relationship. It is loyalty, forgiveness, respect. Even when the challenges arise. This is love, it withstands all. There are no assumptions about the other person. As assumptions only create conflict. Assumptions arise from not communicating honestly. They are projections.
The relationship knows that the other person is not the enemy and is not a punching bag. Relationships are always a two way street of giving and receiving, or mutual respect no matter what. The irony of a relationship is that it flows and is easy but then hard work at the same time. But the work is effortless. That’s the beauty of it. Because you’re both willing to work on an individual level.
We need relationships to grow
We need relationships. They are the essence to our growth. They are vital to growth, to consciously transforming. These beautiful interactions that you have, can be the biggest blessing in your life. Even when they may fall apart.
But they only fall apart when one or both are not willing to do the work or when one is ready to move onto another form of healing and growth.
Even when the relationship “fails” there is no failure, if you can really see what it was there for. As my teacher always said, the break up is there as a blessing in your life.
Your relationship will always serve a purpose. A purpose to either learn something from, a purpose to grow, a purpose to know what it is that is truly close to your heart.
Growing together in an intimate relationship
When both individuals in this relationship are willing to grow, transform and evolve at the same time, the relationship blooms and creates a beautiful manifestation of the intimate relationship.
When you both grow together, this is when magic happens. You both begin to move from a place that is effortless, from the beautiful dance between the masculine and feminine.
You both move with the divine that is love in its essence. And together you create another entity, which is safe, solid, authentic and one that can withstand the winds of any storm. This entity is strong in its foundation, and from this foundation is where something more beautiful grows, it begins to spread its light which will continue to uplift one another.
If there is no solid foundation where both of you are flourishing, or where you are acting from a place of feelings of unsafe, or feeling that the love is not being reciprocated, then the road may come to the end. And if it doesn’t, the cycle will repeat.
If it ends in heartbreak, if it ends in you needing to detach, it is always ok, because there will always be a new path for you to take that will take you to another journey of growth and love.
So there is no wrong decision.
Relationships bring opportunity
A conscious relationship always needs to feel safe. There always needs to be a balanced and equal state of freedom to feel into your deepest truth. If there is any part of you that feels held back from this because you are not feeling loved or not feeling safe, then this is not a relationship.
This is just a cycle that is being repeated or a learning, until you know what it is in yourself that requires something different.
And the cycle will be there as an opportunity for you to become awakened. It is an opportunity to perhaps release something that has been held deep in your cellular being. To release a past trauma or pain that is still being held in your pain body.
We only know when this is occurring through our relationships. That’s why our relationships are our best teachings, until there’s nothing left to learn. But I do believe we will never stop learning. That is the beauty of life. Because as Carlos says, “then life will just be boring.”
Your relationships will be there to know what is important to you. It is there for you to know what to cling to or let go of. Because sometimes the best growth and biggest learning is in the letting go of, no matter how hard it feels. The growth occurs in the discomfort, in the willingness to change.
The biggest blessing in all of this, is that you will always be supported and held by your own love. Your heart will hold you. Your heart is indestructible, nothing will get in the way of it.
So next time you are in a relationship and think you may be in love- just stop and reflect and listen to your body, is it love or am I being carried away by the stories around what relationships actually mean.
Am I getting caught up in the honeymoon phase of laughter, fun and distractions?
Am I getting caught up in the drama, the back and forth games, the unknown?
No this is not love. This is not a relationship. This is purely a cycle. A cycle and learning that is very much important… until the cycle ends.
How do you know you are ready for a relationship?
If it is an intimate relationship that entails love, are you willing to grow with this love through the challenges. Are you willing to always look within during the difficult triggers, are you willing to let go and surrender? Because at the end of the day, we are still human and the ego loves to creep back in every now and then. Are you ready to work on taking accountability?
Are you ready to really dig into the truth?
Are you ready to communicate? Are you ready to be honest?
Are you ready to open your heart so fully that you allow yourself to become vulnerable and soft with that person?
Are you ready to practice empathy with them and see their side to a situation? Despite who is right or wrong?
Are you willing to respect them?
Are you willing to let go of past trauma that has held you back from being loved and therefore loving?
Are you willing to be your most genuine and most authentic self? That to some people can be the scariest thing and if you find that too scary then that is ok too. You may not be ready for this flourishing, blossoming relationship, just yet.
But let me tell you, if you are and when you are, there is no need to be afraid, remember your heart is there to hold you, and you are always supported by the divine. And if you are ready, it will be the best thing you will ever encounter.
Remember the growth, evolution and conscious awakening can happen on your own yes, but the biggest practice and embodied experience is when you are in the relationship. And it is not about you anymore, it is about you, him/her and the relationship itself, where there is three.
Please know, that there is no perfect moment for a relationship. That’s the thing. There is no need to search for it. It will really occur when the divine knows you are ready.