I have a real thing about not saying the word yoni or pussy. And only mentioning our body lady parts as that, “lady private parts.” She is so much more than that.
Why is it that we still carry these taboos around the vagina?
That it is so hard for us to just say it- vagina.
And let alone look at her.
Do you know what saddens and surprises me? When I try to research yoni or vagina, I am left to find articles that discuss how to please a man. Additionally, wE live in a society that encourages us to loathe our bodies and our curves. We are encouraged to find all the imperfections. And then on top of all that we have to loathe or be afraid of our vulvas too.
IT really breaks my heart.
We are also fed these ideas of how the vulva is supposed to look and if it isn’t tight, there is something wrong with us.
While I completely support women choosing their own path with their bodies and doing what they feel is necessary to find self-acceptance and peace, I want women to know there is another way. We need to stop being afraid of the very source of our power and pleasure. Yes your yoni, your vulva is your source of pleasure. I mean how amazing is that and yet we are so afraid of it. We carry so much shame around it.
I’m here today to teach you six steps for learning to love your yoni — and better yet, your entire self! — exactly as it is. My passion is teaching women how to step into their feminine power and experience radical wholesome self acceptance and love for yourself.
This journey is a process of loving yourself through loving your yoni.
Make sure to check out my other blog: How well do you know your yoni?
1. Look at your yoni
If you have never looked at your vagina, or through thought of it brings a lot of resistance, you are not alone. Many women I have worked with have never looked at their yoni. Most women carry alot of shame for how her body looks as well as how her yoni looks.
This is why the first step is truly getting to know what your vulva looks like.
The only way we can fully come into full acceptance, love and know ourselves is if we come to know ourselves naked and that means really start knowing every inch of your yoni.
We have to start knowing her like she is our best friend. By really looking at her and getting to know her, her colors and all. In this way, we start reclaiming our truth and stepping into our power.
You can start this journey of connecting with her by just cupping her and holding her skin to skin to begin this journey. And then slowly start getting used to seeing her with a hand mirror.
Now this doesn’t come easy if you’ve never had this relationship with her before. This is why I have dedicated a whole module inside Feminine Remembrance ,where we come into knowing her and loving the yoni through ritual. Because she deserves that. She deserves your full loving attention. And if you do feel uncomfortable at first also know that this is completely normal and there is no reason to judge yourself. It takes love, compassion and patience with yourself.
When exploring your yoni, it is also helpful to keep a journal and start noting what you see and how you feel. The thing I also love is giving her a name. My name for her changes all the time.
2. Look At Other Yonis
Have you ever seen another woman’s yoni?
We have basically come to know our yonis through unrealistic images of her. We have come to know her or not at all, through false expectations, especially through pornography which gives us women such a lack of education of what a yoni really looks like. So to help us move through these limited ideals, it can help to view the diverse types of yonis that actually exist.
What we need to understand is that each one of us beautiful women are different. Our voices are unique and different, our eyes, our bodies and yes so are our yonis. So it is important that we have an idea of different yonis to start realizing her beautiful diversity amongst us women. And not to compare ours with another, but to realize we are all different and beautiful.
Some of my favorite resources that celebrate honest, lovely representations of yonis include:
It can be extremely helpful and healing to see the range of vaginas that exist outside of the world of porn. Seeing a wide array of yonis with varying colors, sizes, and shapes, can be very helpful in accepting and embracing your yoni’s uniqueness.
3. Affirm Yoni Mantras/ Affirmations
Develop a loving relationship with your yoni by affirming yoni mantras.
Every day speak beautiful words to yourself and your yoni. But don’t just read them, breathe into each. Really feel them as you say them.
As you read these mantras, you may think it is ridiculous or you may not actually believe them. But say them to yourself and to your yoni anyway. And Do it often. And see how you voice shifts each day.
Breathe in love, compassion, and acceptance and feel the beautiful effect this positive energy has on your entire body, including your yoni. You can even say them while looking at your yoni. Or just while cupping her with your hands. Or just say them during the day whenever you can. But ensure that you repeat these words of affirmations daily.
Here are some of my favorite affirmations:
My yoni is beautiful
I am grateful for what my yoni teaches me
My yoni is my sacred temple
My yoni is my source of pleasire
My yoni is perfect just as she is
I embrace and accept my yoni.
My yoni is sacred.
Our yoni, our vagina, we have neglected her for far too long. So when we say these words of affirmations, we can start practicing self acceptance and we start to open up the throat chakra. Your yoni and throat are directly linked.
So there’s a lot of power in your words and saying them out loud.
If we want to be truly sexually liberated and completely connected to our erotic side, the first step is accepting every part of ourselves, including our genitals.
This process of accepting your vulva requires patience, compassion and love. So go easy on yourself and be proud of every little bit of progress you make along the way.
4. Treat your yoni as your best girlfriend
We have to get used to speaking to your yoni in a way of utmost respect. Yes, like she was your best girlfriend. She is your sacred gatekeeper to pleasure and your beauty, so let’s start showing her some respect for her glorious presence. A beautiful place to start is to not bring any derogatory towards her. And start getting used to reclaiming the words yoni and vagina. And even pussy. Let’s turn this into a positive experience. And take this power back.
5. Allow your Partner to Look at Your Yoni
There is nothing more than your partner loves on your body, and that is, your yoni.
I don’t blame them.
It’s beautiful, mysterious and carries your universe. So offering him permission to look at your yoni is offering him the world. Your world. By allowing him to look at your yoni, you are also cultivating intimacy between you two in the most magical way.
Ask your yoni first if she is ready to be looked at. Wait for the initial yes and no. You will know.
Lie on your back and spread your legs apart as your partner sits in front of you.
Ask them to describe the shape, texture, and color of your yoni.
Tell them to be honest without being critical or judgmental.
This can be such an enlightening experience. And will help you realize your beauty through your partner’s eyes.
You might like to do this once you have both had a loving shower together. And if you are feeling extra courageous, I invite you to look at your yoni together. With your partner sitting behind you, sit back in their lap and open your legs. Using a hand mirror, have a look at your yoni together. Describe what you see with the same non-judgmental, honest observations.
If all of this seems too much. I encourage you to start getting naked in front of your partner. And witness and receive the beautiful compliments from them. Start practice receiving. This is the power of your yoni, she receives. So it is time we fill her up with beautiful, loving, compassionate words and energy. She will love you for that.
6. Look out for how your yoni responds when she is triggered by external portrayals
During your process of learning to fully love and accept your yoni, pay close attention to the images you allow yourself to be exposed to.
You yoni is very receptive and she will pick up on situations and events that can be triggering to your feminine. This can include things that you watch in movies or images that portray sex or a woman’s body in a demeaning way. She will pick up on this. So just become aware of how she responds. Awareness is everything. And she will usually speak to you through your body. Maybe you are holding pain during sex. Maybe you will feel tight in your stomach.
Somatic practices can really help with this- the dearmoring yoni massage can be a really beautiful release for this. Of course. If you require support in this or would like to be held in a sacred safe container to do this, I invite you to Feminine Remembrance :Come Home to Yourself. We not only create ritual to look at her with loving eyes, but we also engage in a deamoring yoni practice.
If you are here reading this, I want to share my deepest gratitude towards you. You are courageous and I am so proud of you for desiring to embrace your feminine power on a deeper level. It takes dedication, devotion and courage, to wholly connect to our erotic selves.
If you have been living with negative self-talk surrounding your yoni and limited ideas, this process may feel extremely difficult at first. Please know that I believe in you and am with you every step of the way.
My facebook group is a safe space, open to any woman wanting to empower herself, enjoy her full sexual potential, and experience self-acceptance. Ask me any question, any time, in this private, accepting environment.
And as mentioned above, we can dive deeper into this work together in Feminine Remembrance- the pathway of coming home to you to fully accept, love and honor the woman that you are, in a group container.
Love Jessica Angileri