When you think about intimacy, how does that make you feel?
Where does your mind go when you think of intimacy?
In this blog, I will speak about intimacy and some ways that you can practice the art of intimacy to bring in bliss, aliveness and love into your life and when in a conscious relationship.
What is intimacy
Oftentimes, when we think of intimacy or pleasure people will think of sex right away.
Yes, intimacy is a way to enhance your sexual experiences because you require the wisdom of connection, and complete presence, which is found in the art of intimacy. But let me tell you, intimacy is much more than what you do in the bedroom.
Intimacy is presence and enjoying your body and self, and feeling the full spectrum of our experience as a woman. When you are completely connected and present, your erotic energy is felt in your body as pleasure and this can only happen when we are allowing ourselves to be intimate with our subtle experience. Through our senses.
We can take this experience and transfer this pleasurable experience in all the moments we live in every day. And in this way we begin to know ourselves more intimately. We begin to understand what turns us on, what triggers us, what patterns are playing out in our lives, what we are sensing in each moment.
This happens in the presence of being in the body. Being so connected with how you are feeling in that present moment. When you know how to be present with yourself, you are also open to receiving more bliss. You are open to receiving messages from your womb. And you become more attuned to your unapologetic power, as you connect intimately with your yoni.
You learn how to regulate your nervous system through your breath. And you understand how your body speaks to you.
So as you can see, intimacy is not just about sex. It is not about date nights. Yes they bring in fun and lightness to the relationship, but that is just one part of an intimate relationship, intimacy goes beyond that.
Why intimacy doesn’t come easy for women
This intimate connection for us women doesn’t come naturally.
We are living in a very masculine world so that means when it comes to pleasure, sensuality and slow connection with the feminine- we are usually very disconnected with our body. We are led to believe that our sexuality is something to feel shame about. Or pleasure is something to feel guilty about. Or we believe that our minds are superior to the body. Therefore, don’t feel very connected to the body.
We’re missing the connection to our sensuality which is a piece to being alive and experiencing all the amazing things that your body can experience.
We have shut down our bodies. And when our body is shut down, our vital life force energy which is created through sensuality, blocks our true magnetic radiance. This is when we feel depleted or we don’t feel we have charge over our own lives.
Furthermore, If we are focused on our body image and insecurities, we can’t be fully present with ourselves and therefore with our lover. Because we are in the mind. We can’t be intimate and enjoy our sensual, pleasurable body from the mind level. This limits our eroticism. We cannot surrender when we are caught up in the mind. And if we can’t surrender, we can’t fully experience intimacy and then we can’t experience whole body orgasms.
The secret here is safety. To feel safe in your own skin. Safe in your naked body..
This is the only way you can lean back and fully open yourself to sensual pleasures. And to feel sexual pleasure on your own or with a lover.
The most important thing to know when speaking about connection and intimacy, is that it all has to start with the relationship you have with yourself. Get up and personal with all of you, connect with your body, yoni and breasts. Through touch.
Touch is everything. And this is how we pierce through the layers to let go and to feel – this is the sensuality part.
You can know the anatomy of your clitoris, your vagina and your pleasure points but this isn’t going to bring you closer to what you truly love and how you know yourself intimately.
So we need to pierce through these layers, in order to let go, let loose, feel, or in other words to open to our awakened sacred sensuality. This is how we become intimate to know ourselves completely. This is how we return to YOUR WOMANHOOD.
Intimacy in relationships
Intimacy is about being present for one another. It is about being there for one another emotionally and spiritually, and holding them in the most vulnerable times. It isn’t always about feeling “good.”
Intimacy is about truth, vulnerability and being together in your most rawest times. It is the most vulnerable and most exposing way of being yourself. With no mask, no hiding of who you are and that includes all your fears and insecurities, no pretending that everything is fine.
In a relationship, you know how to be there for someone so intently, with discernment and no judgment. Seeing and being in presence with them through the lens of love to continue growing and holding their hand to become the best and highest version of themselves.
And this act of love and intimacy, requires more than just communication.
Intimacy is communicating in ALL ways.
It is the most important way of being able to really confront your own shadows as well being there for your partner. When you know how to be intimate with yourself and hold yourself in the most rawest, darkest times you then know how to be there for your partner, without fixing them- just listening, appreciating, and validating.
When you experience intimacy in a conscious relationship, you bring more bliss and pleasure into your life, and you surrender to the divine to move through both of you. As intimacy is a beautiful way to connect with spirit, with the divine.
When intimacy is there on a spiritual level, this is where you experience an altered state of consciousness, you both enter this space that feels comfortable, and that feels safe. And where you feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your body. It is the most beautiful thing ever.
My partner and I have been together for 6 years and there has not been one day where we have not shown up for one another. Intimacy is not hard work. It is just showing up completely, with all of your heart, even when it might feel hard, but the willingness is there every single moment of the day. Willingness is everything.
So….When you know how to be so intimate with yourself, you know how this feels in your body and you feel so safe to open your arms to another. Therefore, this journey of intimacy begins with you.
Here are some ways that you can be intimate with yourself and with another
- Make eye contact
When you make eye contact you are bringing your complete presence to one another. You practice mindfulness, presence, love, and really see into one another’s soul and eyes. You travel into another state of calmness, bliss and safety. There is no hidden agenda other than just your presence. And that in itself is the most blissful, beautiful thing you can experience. Of course you can also engage in mirror practices solo, where you practice being your own lover through your own lens of love.
Breath (whether you are engaging in a breathing practice with your partner or solo) is a key tool to help you tune into your ecstatic pleasure and energy as it requires you to be present and embodied. Breath is something we do every day, but for a lot of us we are not aware of how our breath resides and how it can really help to come back to ease.
When in ease, we feel more. We connect more. We hear more. We tune in more. So when you use breath in sexual pleasures with or without a partner you receive and feel more.
- Have a practice that brings you closer together
I am not speaking about doing something like going to the movies. I am speaking about something that helps you create momentum in your day, together. So engaging in a daily spiritual practice can be useful that you and your partner can both share, or that you can do solo to become intimate with your feelings, emotions, sensations, thoughts as you begin your day. In this way, you begin the day with a sense of gratitude and softness before you move into the space of productivity. This is a beautiful way to share an experience together with your loved one.
Other practices you can engage in for intimacy
- Be present in one another’s embrace
- Cook together
- Listen intently
- Hold each other, especially in those moments when you feel misunderstood
- Sharing what you love about the person
- Always being empathetic
- Being honest in the most loving way
- Practices to ignite your senses
- Speak from the place of LOVE
And all these can be practices and ways to intimately connect with yourself also.
To begin your journey of intimacy where you learn to become embodied, present and connected with your sensations for more ease and to help you become more connected with your feminine energy and body, I invite you to sign up for my 7 day FREE PROGRAM EROTIC WOMAN EMBODIMENT.